Paperback
Retail Price: $16.95
Toilet Paper: Little four-year-old Mayson screamed for my daughter Amy to come and wipe his butt after he pooped. Amy said,”Mayson you’re four years old. You can wipe your own butt!" She asked, ”What do you do when you're at school and poop?" Little Mayson said."Nothing! I just get shit in my pants!!”
Razor: I was in the shower and I grabbed my razor to shave. I looked at it and it was full of hair a lot of hair! I jumped out of the shower soaking wet and confronted my husband about my razor. My husband pleaded the “It wasn’t me” scenario! I said; “We don’t have any hairy damn ghosts living in this house!” I pushed his head back with one hand and held my hairy razor to his face with my other hand. He screamed; “What? Are you doing?” I said; “I’m matching this hair up to what’s left of your beard! If I find out this is your BALL hair I’m going to cut you with this hairy razor!!”
Paperback
Format: 6 x 9 Black & White Paperback, 130 pages
Publisher: Outskirts Press (Nov 28, 2019)
ISBN10: 1977219497
ISBN13: 9781977219497
Genre: HUMOR / General
I grew up in the small town of Apple Creek, Ohio. I'm an only child and learned to make friends easily. I live each day to find the humor in any situation. My aunt Barb would tell me as a child. "When life is not going your way find the humor and put a smile on your face." I believe life is too short to not be happy and laugh. I currently reside in the small town of Ashville, Ohio, with my husband Tim. There is never a dull moment in my house. My friends and relatives visit often so they can witness just how crazy we really are! 
My representative Jamie was always extremely professional and helpful during the entire process of my book publication. She always responded very quickly to requests and was always helpful throughout the entire process. She is a great role model and a great asset to the Outskirts Press family. I will highly recommend Outskirts Press to my friends and associates and also look forward to doing more business in the future. I am extremely pleased with my book publication and consider this a major milestone in my life . Thank you all very much...
Lawrence N. Weston
author of Avoiding Self Imposed Adversities
From the beginning, and throughout the process of publishing my first book, I felt that I was in the hands of a pro. Dana always took the time to answer my questions in detail and swiftly, and if she didn't have 100% confidence, she researched the question and got back to me. I was very pleased with her and I am also thankful that I was paired with her as an Author Rep.
David Matityahu Ben Avraham
author of There's No Such Thing as Magic Blood
Bridget, as well as the entire Outskirts Press team working with me, are exceptional. They held my hand through the entire process in addition to providing me with welcomed support and encouragement. I am looking forward to our next project together. I have recommended Outskirts Press to several freelance authors in my area. Thank you for making a potentially hectic journey so enjoyable and so satisfying.
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author of More Than What They Seemed
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author of Reclaim Your Right To Grow Old
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Esther A. Ota
author of Children: My Heritage - A Testimony
The one-on-one with Lisa was great. Especially the phone call picking out styles, font, cover template etc. She even got a vote on the color. I so wanted to have my daughter's painting as the art work on the cover and she gave me a way to do that. Her guidance helped turn my dream into a reality and sometimes it is still hard to believe until I look at my book. Thank you.
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author of The Art of Being a School Counselor
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author of Life with Bingo, Miracle on the Gridiron, Football Hero, and Ezra
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author of We Are All Human Beings
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