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Toilet Paper: Little four-year-old Mayson screamed for my daughter Amy to come and wipe his butt after he pooped. Amy said,”Mayson you’re four years old. You can wipe your own butt!" She asked, ”What do you do when you're at school and poop?" Little Mayson said."Nothing! I just get shit in my pants!!”

Razor: I was in the shower and I grabbed my razor to shave. I looked at it and it was full of hair a lot of hair! I jumped out of the shower soaking wet and confronted my husband about my razor. My husband pleaded the “It wasn’t me” scenario! I said; “We don’t have any hairy damn ghosts living in this house!” I pushed his head back with one hand and held my hairy razor to his face with my other hand. He screamed; “What? Are you doing?” I said; “I’m matching this hair up to what’s left of your beard! If I find out this is your BALL hair I’m going to cut you with this hairy razor!!”