Love conquers separation, prejudice, and quadriplegia

Tina Su and Doug Cooper met in a Chinese class at Cornell University in 1963. They fell in love, later married and lived happily ever after. Actually, it was not quite that simple. With both sets of parents opposing an interracial marriage, the couple separated and did not meet again for nineteen years. Tina went off to grad school at Harvard, married a scientist from China, edited for the Encyclopedia Britannica, had two sons, and felt trapped in a difficult marriage. Doug was drafted into the army, and afterward earned his master’s in physics from Penn State and a Ph.D. in engineering from Harvard. His first marriage (to a Caucasian woman who resembled Tina) failed. Eventually Doug contacted Tina, and the two declared their love. Interracial issues were no longer a problem; but her multiple sclerosis, with its likelihood of increasing disability, would cast a shadow on their prospects. Tina—with great difficulty and pain—left her marriage. Now together for more than twenty-five years, Tina and Doug have learned that while love may not conquer all, it has been crucial in successfully meeting the challenges of Tina’s progressive immobility, ultimately her quadriplegia and near death from an MS-caused pneumonia. More than a love story, this wry memoir has reflections on love and marriage, faith, professional ethics, at-home intensive nursing care, medical insurance, finances, and the exceptional character of a brave woman, written by the man who loves her, with tributes from those who admire her.

Douglas Winslow Cooper is a freelance writer and retired physicist, currently helping to manage round-the-clock care of his wife, Tina, who has multiple sclerosis and is quadriplegic. Cooper earned his A.B. and M.S. degrees in physics from Cornell and Penn State and a Ph.D. in engineering from Harvard. He served at the U.S. Army biological warfare labs at Ft. Detrick, MD, and on the faculty of the Harvard University School of Public Health. An idealistic, rational optimist, he has been active in politics, and his professional life centered on environmental issues. He was elected Fellow of the Institute of Environmental Sciences. In retirement, he enjoys reading, walking his dog, listening to music and freelance writing.