Outskirts Press Book Publishing Presents Son of Orbiting Death-Ray Platform

Son of Orbiting Death-Ray Platform
by Dr. Heinrich Heildmon
Print on Demand Publisher
Ordering Information
5 x 8 Paperback
ISBN: 9781932672060
$17.95    
 
 
 
Book Information
Genre:
 HUMOR / General
Publication:
 May 05, 2005
Pages:
 172
 
Featured Titles

The collected works of Dr. Heildmon serve as a warning to all humanity: Don't stand too close to life, you might get some on you. In this first volume, Son of Orbiting Deathray Platform, Dr. Heildmon introduces us to the world as he sees it, made up of offbeat characters like his very good friend Art Carter
and outlandish situations like a community college teaching a course on World Domination, and Quantum Woodshop.

Dr. Heildmon provides insights into human nature that could conceivably save you in the event an orbiting death ray platform looms over the horizon.

So grab a can of Spray-Co™ spray on self smoothening cheese flavored foaming food substitute, snuggle up next to your best girl or guy, and get ready. You'll be a better person for it.
 
The latest improvements to the Throbulator have only been documented as "now with 33% added improvement." What this really means, I don't know. I only know that using the Throbulator in conjunction with the Spankotron can cause severe throbulation and possibly an acute case of spankosis. On my way home from the hospital I met my very good friend Art Carter at the corner of Third and Third.
Art was on his way to see the stump doctor. Art had just lost his hand in a horrible paste tasting accident which left him left-handed-less. Now Art is a very reasonable person and is not upset about the left-handed-less-ness. He feels that everything balances out in the end. Art speculates that some-where down the road, he might be infected with some exotic virus which mutates the infected to grow two left hands or find himself in some kind of medical experiment gone horribly wrong and loses his right hand as well.

About Dr. Heinrich Heildmon

 The exceedingly eccentric Dr. Heildmon received his doctorate from Johns Hopkins University in Quantum Biology and pouring a damn good martini. Considered by many as a brilliant mad man of ideas and words, he prefers the term “Super villain.” He currently holds the Newtonian Chair in Coloring at Cambridge Institute for the Severely Retarded.
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