Chapter Twelve
HADLEY SITS UP in bed. He still has on his same
clothes. Hadley is confused and disoriented. He is
looking for Manny.
“Where are you? What the hell is going on? I just
want to be with the Cowgirl.”
Hadley realizes he is in his room at his parents’
house, but he doesn’t know how he got there. His
parents live only ten miles from the college. He is
still drunk and is suffering from alcohol poisoning,
but he doesn’t realize it at the moment. He just feels
really bad -- like all his blood has been sucked from
his body.
“How did I get here? Hey, Cowgirl -- you here?
Mom ... Dad.... Is anyone here? Man, what a messed-
up dream!”
Hadley is relieved, and sighs. He rubs his left arm
and realizes it is covered in blood, and with closer ob-
servation he sees two puncture holes. Hadley starts
to panic.
“Shit! That jackass bit me. He is a vampire! Damn
it! Damn it to hell! What am I going to do? I don’t
want to lose my blood or dreams. Who am I?”
Hadley gets out of bed and rushes to the window,
and sees his car parked in his yard and not the drive-
way. The sun really hurts his eyes.
“Well, it looks like I drove. That sun is burning
my skin. Okay, Hadley -- think! You know this has
to be some sort of dream.”
Hadley slaps himself.
“Ouch! Man, I am a vampire. The sun is burning
my skin. What is my mom going to say? She is going
to be so pissed.”
Hadley uses another voice and mannerism.
“Hello, Mayor -- here is my son the undead.
Don’t worry; he just sucks the blood out of all the
dreamers.”
Hadley rushes to his mirror. To his amazement,
his reflection is very hazy.
“Shit on me. Oh, no! The rocks!”
Hadley reaches around and grabs his ass. He pulls
down his pants, checking for rocks. There are two
pebbles in his underwear. His head drops; he rushes
to the restroom and he sits down on the toilet.
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“Okay, I need to get help. I need to get back to col-
lege. I need to shit out these rocks.”
Hadley pushes and groans over and over again. He
gets sadder and sadder as nothing comes out.
“God, I know I have done some really bad things,
but I love getting a tan and feeling the sun on my face.”
Hadley starts to sob for a moment, but quickly tries
to get it together. He pulls up his pants and heads back
to his room. He paces back and forth as he talks out
loud to himself. He is full of conflict.
“Okay, I need to get back to school. I need to warn
everyone. No, then they will kill me.... All I need to do
is get back to my dorm. The guys will know what to
do.”
Hadley hurries out of his room and down the stairs.
He goes to the door and exits.
The door closes for a three count. Hadley rushes
back in, yelling and rubbing his face and arms like they
are on fire.
“Stop, drop, and roll.”
Hadley does what he says. He falls to the floor and
rolls around. He gets up and runs to the kitchen and
runs cold water and splashes it on his face and arms. He
notices the blood and puncture marks again. He looks
around as if someone might be watching. He examines
the marks closely to make sure they are real, and they
are.
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“Okay, what are the facts? You have two punc-
ture holes in your arm. Your reflection is almost gone
-- and I really like looking at myself. Damn it! I
can’t tan, and I can’t look at my vampire-bitten body.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! The sun burns my skin.
I remember that vampire son of a bitch biting me.
Okay, I am a vampire. I get to mount the Cowgirl
forever, and that isn’t a bad thing.... Come on, Had-
ley -- look on the bright side of things, like Aunt
Elva. She always sees the glass as half full. I need to
cover my skin.”
Hadley runs around the house getting and then
putting on stuff to cover every square inch of his body
from the sun. He looks like he is going skiing. He
goes back to the kitchen and looks out the window,
squinting his eyes as he tries to read the temperature.
He puts on some sunglasses.
“That’s better.”
The thermometer reads 88 degrees.
“No, it isn’t. If the sun doesn’t kill me then I will
dehydrate.”
Hadley hurries back to the front door. Before he
can get there it opens. It is Hadley’s mom, who is
dressed as a businesswoman and has on her company
name badge on her blouse. It reads Go Real Estate.
She doesn’t seem surprised by Hadley’s attire. She
has a paper bag full of red apples in her arms. She
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heads to the kitchen and unloads. She prepares food
as she is talking.
“Hey, son, are you going to be home later for
dinner? I am going to cook homemade vegetable
soup with biscuits, and I think I will use some fresh
tomatoes and carrots from the garden. I will start
with some canned tomato sauce with some cabbage.
Then I will add some more fresh vegetables. While
that is cooking, I will make an apple pie. I stopped
by the boys place and they had some big Red Deli-
cious apples. You know those boys always have the
best produce. Ever since I sold them that land, they
have done wonders. You know they have opened a
deli, and they said they are going to raise their own
livestock. They have me looking for more property
for them. You know, Mark and David -- those boys
have done so well for themselves, and they never
went to college. Not that going to college for twen-
ty-five years isn’t a great way to spend your days and
nights.”
Mom heads back to the living room to make
sure Hadley is still listening. Hadley nods in agree-
ment.
“They just showed up at the office one day and
said they wanted to open a store. Nobody else in the
office wanted to work with them. You know what
Mama always says....”
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Hadley knows this is his clue to chime in. “You
can never judge a book by the cover.” Mom heads
back into the kitchen.
“When you get your job? You know, you would
do so well in real estate.”
Hadley waits patiently by the door. “I know,
Mom.”
Mom is still talking. “If you could bottle it up.
You could sell yourself.”
Hadley opens the door and heads out. “Mom,
you’re the best. I need to go slay a vampire and rescue
the Cowgirl now.”
Mom responds from the kitchen, “Okay, honey
-- and thank you for not parking your car up the tree
again … and maybe you could use the driveway in
the future. The neighbors don’t understand your ar-
tistic nature.”
Hadley exits the house. Mom continues to get
her baking stuff out, singing and dancing.