EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK
A Word About Dreams
Since the beginning of recorded history, dreams have significantly influenced the course of human events. In Scripture we find dreams associated with people who have helped to shape our understanding of the Judeo-Christian tradition. In science and technology dreams are credited with countless discoveries and inventions. The dreams of world leaders have been instrumental in major conquests. In the field of art, music, and literature much that we have owes its existence to dreams. Both Beethoven and Mozart woke up with symphonies playing in their heads. Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote down a dream that he later published as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. For millennia, particularly in the Greek and Roman cultures, dreams were used to diagnose and treat illness. Many aboriginal cultures believe the "dream world" to be the "real world" and that which takes place in our waking state as only a shadowy reflection of what is truly real.
How is it that the human community, which has revered dreams for so many thousands of years, has come to a point where we now say we no longer dream? Or, if we do dream, that they are silly and hold no meaning. The truth of the matter is all human beings dream, and dreams are as meaningful today as they ever were—perhaps more so, if the rate at which we are consuming the natural resources of the planet is taken into consideration. In as much as dreams have helped shape almost every facet of human history, so too, they can—and do—positively influence every aspect of an individual's development.
One reason dreams have been so maligned in the present age, in spite of such giants as Freud and Jung, is because we live in a culture that, for the most part, has had an extraordinary bias for what is rational, and little tolerance for that which is non-rational. Consequently, dreams in this culture are, for the most part, devalued and all but ignored. But, by so doing, we neglect one of the greatest resources available to human kind. To avail ourselves of this resource we must recognize that the dream speaks the language of the unconscious, which is symbol and metaphor. If we wish to understand the dream, we must first make an earnest attempt to understand its symbols. This information is readily available from the dreamer if we would simply ask. But here again we discount the author and expert concerning the dream and prefer instead to consult a dream dictionary which treats all dream symbols as though they emanate from a single source. If this were true, dreams would lose their unique ability to individually tailor a specific message for the individual and would indeed be as meaningless as the general population considers them to be.
Dreams, however, will not always allow themselves to be disregarded. Every once in a while, a particular dream will occur, which appears to be unusually significant. The dreamer may not know how or why the dream is significant, but the pervasive feeling that the dream is attempting to communicate something meaningful cannot be discounted. These people are also aware that many within the culture view dreams as senseless or, at best, trivial. And, not wanting to be perceived as "silly" for seriously entertaining a dream, they will usually play both sides of the fence: expressing and devaluing the dream at the same time.
People wishing to express their dreams may say something to the effect, "I had the dumbest dream last night!" in the hopes of engaging someone in a discussion concerning the dream. If there is no response, they may continue, "It was so weird. I just can't believe it. It was the craziest thing I ever heard of!" If the listener’s curiosity has still not been piqued, the dreamer may bring out the big guns: "You were in it." Pretty soon, even if just out of self-defense, one has to inquire, "Okay, what was the dream?"
What these dreamers are doing is devaluing the dream before someone else has the opportunity to do so. They know the dream has meaning for them, and they cannot take the chance of having it rejected out of hand. If, however, the dreamers' attempts to express the dream in this two-sided fashion are rejected, it is okay, in a sense, because they have engineered the rejection by appearing to devalue the dream. These dreamers feel a need to express what they are experiencing and have a desire to understand what it means. On the other hand, when the dreamer's efforts to express the dream are positively received and the listener voices an opinion that the dream sounds like it might be a powerful message; the result is an affirmation of the dream and, consequently, the dreamer.
I use dreams extensively in the work I do as a therapist, and it seems crystal clear to me that dreams come in an attempt to bring us into a greater harmony with ourselves. Dreams endeavor to balance the erroneous conscious ideas, attitudes, perceptions and opinions that keep us estranged from ourselves, others and the environment. It is as though, within each of us, there is a mechanism that attempts to maintain a psychological equilibrium, a point where the opposites are in balance. When we begin to take on a conscious perspective that is somewhat skewed, the unconscious compensates with the opposite attitude taken to a reciprocal degree of one-sidedness. This is not an attempt at judgment on the part of the dream. It is merely an effort to reestablish balance.
An illustration may prove helpful here. This was a young woman of about 25, who was pursuing a Masters degree in Social Work. I had been seeing her in counseling for about a month when she came in and told me the following dream.
I came to a movie theater. There were many people outside standing in line waiting to get in. I decided that I did not want to wait; so, I went up to the head of the line and forced my way in. When anyone would voice their opposition to this, I swore at them using vile language. When the opposition continued I bit and I kicked and I scratched until there was no more resistance.
This young woman was very upset by the dream. In fact, she was embarrassed to tell it to me. "I would never do that. I would never use language like that and I would never, ever treat people that way."
All of this was quite true. She was like a little mouse and would never stand up for herself. In fact, this young lady did not feel that she had the right to breathe the same air as everyone else. Clearly, this dream was attempting to address her skewed perception of herself. If the psyche had presented her as being put upon by everyone else in the dream, she would not have been upset. After all, from her point of view, that was the way things were. But when the dream presented the opposite behavior and showed just how much of it would be needed to balance her timidity, a considerable amount of anxiety was generated. Without the introduction of a certain amount of unsettledness, there is no reason to change. For years, friends, relatives and coworkers had been telling this woman to “stand up for herself,” all to no avail. But once the dream was understood, this young woman realized that something within herself was pointing the way toward wholeness. She began to view herself in a new way that allowed her to begin to address her low self-esteem in a more productive way.
In this example, the young woman's conscious attitude is characterized by a low opinion of herself and she is totally non-assertive, to the point of allowing others to walk all over her. The dream presents her as being arrogant and aggressive. Further, the degree of arrogant and aggressive behavior manifested in the dream is inversely proportional to the low self-esteem and non-assertiveness exhibited by the dreamer in waking life.
Carl Jung, the noted Swiss Psychiatrist, spoke about dreams as the vehicle for psychological homeostasis, that which keeps us within certain optimal parameters. Physiological homeostatic systems keep us in balance by regulating different aspects of our physiology. (For example, when we become overheated, we perspire and the evaporation of that moisture cools us down. Or, when we become overly cold, we shiver allowing rapid muscle movement to generate heat that warms us up.) Likewise, the dream performs a similar function psychologically.
These homeostatic systems will do what they are intended to do, regardless of whether we are aware of them or not. However, when we become cognizant of them, we can cooperate with them and expedite the process. Concerning body temperature, we can either sit in front of a fan or take a swim if we become overheated. And we can turn up the heat or don additional clothing if we become too cold. With dreams, once we become aware of a one-sided attitude, we can consciously take deliberate and productive steps to address it.
It is important to recognize that not all dreams compensate for an erroneous attitude. However, by being aware this is part of the dreams arsenal, it can allow us to take into consideration during the interpretation that the dream may be presenting facets of the dreamer that appear totally opposite to message the dream is attempting to convey.
On the other hand, there are some dreams which complement the current situation by presenting, in a symbolic way, just what is taking place in one's life. These dreams are also attempting to generate some unsettledness for the purpose of bringing about a change. An example of this type of dream is as follows:
I was driving down a curvy mountain road going very fast. The car I was in was falling apart. The bumpers and fenders were falling off. The brakes didn't seem to work and there was a lot of play in the steering wheel, and that made it very hard to steer. The car was picking up speed and seemed out of control. I was always in danger of going over the side of the road and falling off of the mountain. I woke up in a cold sweat.
This was the dream of an 18 year-old young man who had dropped out of high school, was actively abusing alcohol and drugs, and was heavily involved in illegal gang activities. The dream speaks for itself.
I am often asked, "If dreams are truly meant to bring us into a greater sense of health, wholeness and self-awareness, why are they so difficult to understand?" "Why don't the dreams come in a language that is more familiar to all of us?" In point of fact, dreams do use a language that is familiar to the human condition. As mentioned earlier, the language of the dreams is symbol and metaphor. We have a propensity to use symbolic language quite frequently in our day-to-day communications. In fact, it is difficult to engage in casual conversation without introducing metaphors, similes or idioms.
Employing this type of symbolic language expands the process of communication, rather than restricting it. Put another way, rational language, as it is commonly used, is linear and static. For example, if someone were to say, "I just got engaged and I love my fiancée very much," we would understand all of the words. There would be no reason to continue to process the information that we had just heard. If, on the other hand, you hear, "She is a pearl, the apple of my eye. I am head over heels in love with her," now the communication is different. The essential information is still being made known, but so much more as well. This disclosure should be cryptic and indeed, to people outside of the culture, it is. What do talking about pearls, apples, heads and heels have to do with getting engaged? And yet, to the majority of the population, the above statements are clear as a bell.
Declarative statements like, "These children get into trouble when they are not supervised," are succinct and directed toward concise communication. We understand the words and what is being communicated. Having understood, we can discontinue processing the information and move on to the next topic. If, however, we hear the idiom, "When the cat's away the mice will play," it is quite a different story. Our mind begins to entertain the symbol and allows it to speak. The more we stay with it, the more meaning we derive from it. This perhaps explains one reason why the language of dreams is symbolic. It is a language of process. It keeps us involved with what is being communicated, rather than presenting static bits of information that cannot be nuanced as we continue to grow and develop.
The language of symbol and metaphor is very much a part of our lives. However, because we rarely reflect on the language we use, we are unaware of how liberally it is laced with symbolism. To test this, try to think of ten idioms right now. If you were able to do this, it probably took awhile. And yet, if you were to listen to yourself speak, you would be amazed at how frequently they come up.
Dreams embody the maxim: It is not what you say that is important. It is what you don't say. It isn't the words that are important, but what is being communicated. Friends may approach you as someone with a sympathetic ear, and begin to unload all of their problems. They may be having difficulty with their spouse, their children, their coworkers, the neighbors, the PTA, or any combination of the above. It is difficult to contain all of what you are being told. However, supposing your friends were to employ a metaphor, and express what they are experiencing as being "on a treadmill" or "on a merry-go-round." Then, even though you haven't heard them explain their problems ad nauseam, you begin to understand what they are trying to communicate. Consequently, it wasn't what they said that was important (the symbol). It was what they didn't say (its meaning). Again, symbols become a shorthand for the unconscious to communicate so very much in a brief period of time, communication which may take hours in a linear format to be as complete.
On the other hand, when we have a dream about being "on a treadmill" or "on a merry-go-round" it can be disconcerting. It may appear as a "silly dream," since there are no treadmills or merry-go-rounds in our immediate environments. However, if people had visited an amusement park that day or spent several hours in a health club, it would not be unusual to hear them remark, "Oh, that's why I had the dream!" even though their day may have contained more relevant experiences. Approaching the dream in such a way implies that the contents of the dream are concrete, rather than symbolic. If dreams were approached on a symbolic rather than a rational (concrete) level, they would soon begin to reveal the mystery contained in their symbols. This information could then be used to bring individuals back into harmony with themselves, their relationships and their environment.
