Outskirts Press, INC.

THEY GROW UP SO FAST is a gross understatement when it comes to Jett’s brood!

Jace, Jax, and Jude, who the girls refer to as the Sex-Alphabet Trio due to their promiscuous After-School Specials, are turning to Dru for certain life lessons, which doesn’t exactly thrill him. He’s barely managed to keep Juel and Jetta on his radar due to cowboys, Jeb and Chance’s, growing advances and the Two for One twin TV stars chasing them about. Yet, Dru’s left to wonder how he got in the mix of rearing five teen grandchildren, who have six parents, and five other grandparents, when he’s still learning to parent his razor-edged, tooth-bearing, one-year-old, whose favorite word is ‘no’ or any cuss word she hears, plus try to keep his fif-orty-seven-year-old wife in line! And speaking of his wife, the ‘little things’ that consistently happen to Jett are driving Dru nuts! The woman utilizes her Directionally Dysfunctional brain, with their child in the car, to find Alternative Directions, which she claims makes her end up in the same place, which is where she wanted to be all along! And her appearance on the famous Hollywood Squares Celebrity Week, where she’s in the ostentatious middle square giving longer than needed answers, while toying with her precious ‘quiz quarter’ to get the answers right! Or Jett and her co-star’s explicit carnal actions in the mystic Mating Chamber during their new movie, in surround sound, no less, which Dru knew nothing about, for him, all of Hollywood, and the entire world to see in its premiere! Yes, the Simon-Landon-Chase and Savoy families are back learning new lessons in life, while the Jett Ranchettes lounge around to suck on a totally ducky margarita! Check it out, people!