THE WAR STORY
Part One
MAYOR GENTLEGRILL OF Bullford was absolutely flabbergasted when he received an unexpected call in the middle of the night. The day was Friday in the month of February which had only Fridays and no other weekdays for the purpose of simplifying Society matters.
That night Mr. Gentlegrill had fallen asleep in his day bed, on the top floor of his Mayor’s residency, when the communicating teacup suddenly began making “coo- coo” signals. Mr. Gentlegrill compelled himself to pick up the cup and pushed the “Yes?” button.
An unknown, indifferent voice asked:“Is this a country?”
Mr. Gentlegrill was somewhat unfamiliar with the term.
“No, sir! I am a person!”
“Not you! Bullford! A nation, then?”
“Absolutely not!” “Is it a state?” asked the voice.
When no answer was forthcoming, it tried again. “A place, perhaps?”
“I beg your pardon, sir!” Mr. Gentlegrill responded to the mysterious voice at the other end of the communicating teacup.
“First, permit me to ask how you would like to identify yourself? And second, what is the purpose of this call?”
“I am the Overcrossworld Messenger and I am calling you to deliver the following information. Someone at this very moment has become your instant enemy and declared a state of war on Bullford.”
When Mayor Gentlegrill said nothing, the voice repeated:
“Bullford and its enemy are at war!”
“Are we? Really?” Gentlegrill ran through his memory in an attempt to remember what “war” was.
“We are a society of unique, free spirited minds. Am I, as an individual, in any position of responsibility in this matter?” he asked, buying time in some way for catching a little sense of a new to him situation.
“You have a position of the highest military rank, Hereditary Field Marshal Gentlegrill!” the unknown voice replied. “Bullford is in danger and your Society must defend itself upon your personal commands.
“I am instructed to give no instructions but advise you only by pointing out the exact location where you can reach your enemy – directly to the right side of your Mayor’s chair and twelve light-months away. Good night, sir.”
The Overcrossworld Messenger hung up.
The answer stopped Mr. Gentlegrill still as a mountain. He was at a loss.
“Bullford is a society of individuals; a location is a state of mind, to be sure, but a state? A state of what? A nation? A Nation of what? Where in the world did they find that confusing, old fashioned nonsense? Hereditary Field Marshal Gentlegrill! Well, whatever I am,” he mumbled to himself and began falling asleep.
In a matter of minutes a tremendously rising sense of duty awakened him.