Excerpt from Chapter One: "Lost and Found"
Although the graphic renderings of Jesus portrayed him as much younger and thinner than Santa Claus, they both were white men with long hair, a beard, and blue eyes. They each promised rewards if you were good, or punishment if you were bad. And they could keep track of you whenever they wanted to without being seen.
The whole thing was beginning to sound too familiar. So I started asking a lot of questions about the lessons being taught from the bible in Sunday school. I didn't want to be duped again, but I also didn't want to fry in hell.
My questions, however, often seemed to create more problems than they solved. I still remember the quizzical expression on my elderly Sunday school teacher's face when, after reading the story of creation in Genesis, I asked her who God was talking to when He said, "Let us make man..."
She hesitated a moment. "Probably Jesus, or maybe Angels."
Her answer didn't sound like she knew for sure, but I didn't press the issue. It was obvious my question had made her uneasy.
On another occasion, I wanted to know if God had drowned babies and retarded people when He flooded the Earth during the time of Noah.
That inquiry resulted in a one-on-one with our pastor. He told me not to question God; to believe everything in the bible: and to pray for God to cleanse my mind of evil thoughts.
I told the pastor I would try, but that I just didn't believe God would kill so many people just because He was upset with them. I thought He would have tried to work out a plan to save more than one family.
The pastor's response was that God could do whatever He wanted, whenever He wanted, wherever He wanted, and that I should just have faith in His judgement to exercise His power in any way He saw fit.
Thus began in my life a slow but steady drifting away from religious teachings. It seemed easier to forget about God and church than to try to deal with a huge dilemma: If the preacher was right, then God could be unbelievably cruel, even to the point of mudering helpless invalids, as well as infants who hadn't even had a chance to do anything wrong. On the other hand, if the pastor had it wrong, and God never did such things, why would so many people busy themselves teaching lies?
