Whoever said that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” was completely clueless and out of touch with reality. Physical wounds like scrapes, cuts, and burns heal in time. The scars left behind remind us that we are fully healed from the trauma. But what about the scars—mental and emotional—that remain from the unkind words of others? How long does it take to heal when you’ve been injured by someone else’s words? Does it take seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years, or a lifetime to heal from those?
I’ve found that hurtful words have stayed with me. They are like messages on a recorder that, if I’m not focused on the word of God, will play back in my mind over and over again. With vivid remembrance, I recall hurtful things that were said to me during my childhood, teenage and college years.
College students, though they are supposedly adults and therefore mature, can say cruel and insensitive things too. I’ve been told that I was too fat. People told me that I was too quiet. Some told me that I had no personality. People told me that I was too sensitive. Believe it or not, people even told me that I was too nice.
All my life, I have been labeled by others too this and too that. To them, I was never good enough, never pretty enough, never skinny enough, never cute enough, never charming enough. Those negative messages plagued me, and after awhile I started to wonder if what others’ had to say about me was on point. Does any of this ring true for you?
Not too long ago, I found myself at a pivotal point in my life. I had to make a critical decision for myself. No one else could make the decision for me, I had to do it. I had to decide if I was going to keep listening to others’ wounding attacks on my character and consequently let their words shape my future or was I going to stop listening. Shut them out. Would I block out their bruising words and quit taking them to heart or let them tear me down, hold me back and stop me from working God’s plan for my life. Looking back, the decision I faced wasn’t as baffling and nebulous as I originally thought it was. It was as clear as the blue sky above.
It was only when I stopped listening to what people had to say about me and started listening to and trusting what God and I had to say about me that I could begin to grow and become all that God has called me to be. Yes, the words sometimes stung like a bee. And yes, I shed buckets full of tears. But God has used those wounding words to make me stronger, more resilient. Those tactless, judgmental words, though painful, were life-changing. They have actually helped to catapult me forward.
God has healed the wounds that those words left. I learned to view them as pure lies. Well, the best way to combat a lie is to cover it with the truth. Lies have no power over the truth. The word of God says that the truth shall make us free. My friend, thankfully, I am free at last. In the words of the Reverend Dr. King, “Thank God almighty, I am free at last”.
Now I rejoice in what God has said about me. I now know that I’m not fat, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I now know that I’m not too quiet, for even God speaks in a still, small voice. I now know that I am not without personality, for I have a distinctive personality that has been shaped by God, and there is no one else on this planet like me…or you. Give thanks for your individuality. Celebrate it.
Whatever anyone says to discourage you or to attack your personality and character, measure their words against the word of God and what He has to say about you, His child. You will quickly discover that others’ words have no merit and all that really matters is how you measure up in God’s eyes. God loves you, and absolutely nothing anyone else says to the contrary matters.
