Outskirts Press, INC.

Relief for Adoptive Parents of Traumatized, Attachment-Challenged Children

Drowning with My Hair on Fire is a lifeline for adoptive parents trying to navigate the choppy waters of raising adopted children from difficult beginnings. Author Ce Eshelman’s beautiful heart really shines through in the hundreds of letters to parents to read each day when needing hope, inspiration, advice, direction, reminders, or practical help. She deeply understands them and the chaos of their lives and families because she was there, but is now able to give them the wisdom culled from reading every book on the subject, attending hundreds of seminars and workshops, years of her own therapy, and fearlessly facing her own mistakes. If you are raising a traumatized, attachment-challenged child, Ce is the friend you want, and this is the book you need. “Ce is the real deal. She's one of those rare gems who deeply cares about the people she serves. She is willing to freeze frame and blow up her mistakes for you to see so you can avoid the same pitfalls. She then points to the path of secure attachment. The book itself is a secure base you can return to again and again when things get difficult at home.” —Jennifer Olden, LMFT, Certified EFT Therapist

My Love Letters The following letters all begin with Dear Parent. They are pulled together from a blog I have written sporadically since 2006. In 2013, I began writing daily letters and have been surprised to see a huge Internet following beyond my practice rise up of parents who need support for parenting their adopted children. I have loosely grouped the letters here into sections on younger children, adolescents, young adults, therapeutic parenting, and specific special day musings. Adoptive parents have written to me nearly every week encouraging me to put these letters into a book. So, my friends, this book is in response to those requests. This compilation is not a comprehensive parenting guide. The letters are meant only as additional support to you in your journey raising your child(ren) from difficult beginnings. I write these letters to parents so they can have a few minutes every day to think about themselves and their situation in a life that is often chaotic. I recommend you ponder one letter daily and resist binge reading. Too much information is just that, too much. I know some parents read one before getting out of bed in the morning, others at teatime or while waiting for the bus or doctor, or occasionally with a spouse in bed at night. I hear that the ones that resonate most are sent to family members or friends. Maybe you will binge read once a week (though I caution against this approach). Many parents write back to me their thoughts, experiences, confessions, questions, or complaints, and I invite you to do the same. The letters are meant to stimulate your thinking or give you a refresher. It would honor me if your copy was dog-eared and food splattered and bookmarked. It is my desire that you view me as a friendly soul who gets you, doesn’t judge you, who has some hard-earned wisdom to give you, and is willing to confront sometimes the ugly truth, the one you may be living every day. I want you to know you have a friend in me who has traveled this road. We are a special group who has bitten off something that is sometimes toxic and sometimes sweet. You have my heart. Love matters.