Outskirts Press, INC.

A journey through mental illness--one woman speaks out!

Sometimes reaching for hope is like reaching for a blade of grass in a blaze of fire. You may get burned. You may want more time for old wounds to heal. But you must reach in, and grasp the hope... and go on.



At times, five seconds feels like a million years. When you are battling your own mind, it becomes very confusing. I have been laughed at, ridiculed, raped and rejected. However, my faith has remained. This journey leads me--over and over--to God. I remember a verse in the Bible (Romans 15:13)”May the God of Hope fill you with all Joy and Peace as you trust in Him.” It’s hard work, but I am growing, day-by-day, as I learn to trust Him. My world goes ‘round and ‘round, and upside down, but I’ve found I can come to God in a very unique way. When I don’t understand what is going on in my heart, or what is going on in my mind, I’ve found that He is there.

Bound
Tiptoeing the tightrope of sanity
afraid to live and afraid to die
afraid to quit and afraid to try
The pit and the mountain
they beckon and call
I step toward the mountain
slippery and tall
Glancing back -- the great chasm
With its trials of fire
I grasp the cool rock
and try to pull a step higher
Ropes bind my form
to the depths below
where failures and fears
line its smoldering glow
I attempt with all my might
to somehow break free
and puzzle together
what used to be me
Afraid to live and afraid to die
Afraid to quit and afraid to try