Heroes were praised and admired in literature and music. Heroes won the hearts of beautiful women. What aspiring legend could resist taking his rightful place alongside Mt. Rushmore’s magnificent foursome?

It was 1945. The end of WW II brought renewed hope for America and the world, inspiring rejuvenated national pride along with enthusiasm for motherhood and apple pie, family, God, conformity, virginity, and idealism! While experiencing post-war euphoria, Alan Bentley dreamed of becoming a hero. Though only a short-pants-wearing, skinny kid, he felt a calling to become legendary, universally admired for his character, grit, perseverance, wisdom, courage, and unshakable regard for truth, fair play, and humility. He hoped someday to join Borglum’s famous memorialized quartet in South Dakota. After all, this was America! Realizing that the predominant opportunities for heroism were offered by war, he enlisted in the army upon graduating from high school two weeks shy of his eighteenth birthday. He would prepare for the inevitable next conflict. In The Saga of Chief Barking Loincloth, Alan unabashedly recounts his adventures and misadventures, revealing humor and pathos in elusive successes and humiliating miss-steps as he encounters social contradiction and hypocrisy, unanticipated pitfalls, and ill-advised detours. Whether committing a major faux pas in an elementary spelling bee, inflicting injury on a class-mate, facing the wrath of a humorless army criminal Investigation, or warding off sexual assault by Travis, a horny spider monkey, he strives to define and become a hero!

Larkin rummaged through his pockets and produced two nickels. By pooling our funds, we now had enough to buy a pack from the vending machine. After a brief discussion, we decided on Marlboros. I volunteered to make the buy. On standing, I was reacquainted with my headache. At the machine I inserted our thirty-five cents, but as I scanned for the cigarettes of choice I experienced near panic. I had put our entire combined wealth into the jukebox! It contained no cigarettes! They could be found in the adjacent cigarette machine. This would definitely not impress my new friends. I looked over at the table where they sat waiting. They weren’t looking. I frantically pushed the coin return button. Nothing. I pushed it again and again, and again. Still nothing. I glanced again at Branca and Larkin, soon to be former friends. They were still not watching me, evidently still involved in their deeply intellectual discussion about the importance of breast size. I could easily slip out the side entrance and disappear. That presented two negatives: I would be forfeiting the remainder of my coffee, and they would think that I had decided to keep all of the cigarettes for myself, that I was a petty thief! I returned to the table.

“What would you like to hear?”

“Whaddya mean?” queried Branca.

“Where’s the weeds?” asked Larkin.

“I screwed up, guys. I put the money in the jukebox by mistake and can’t get it back!”

“Yer fuckin’ kidding!” exclaimed Larkin.

“Noooooo!” moaned Branca.

I sensed a hint of exasperation.

We walked to the jukebox. I realized that they were checking the veracity of my claim. Branca chose “There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays.” Larkin selected “Runaway” and I played “I’m Sorry.” At three plays for a quarter, we should have gotten a fourth tune, but the jukebox refused.

“Jesus Christ!” commented Branca. “It’s bad enough that we got screwed out of our cigarettes, but we even overpaid for the fucking music besides!”

Reviewed by Jamie Michele for Readers' Favorite
The Saga of Chief Barking Loincloth: Book One - In Search of a Hero by Larry Sargeant is the somewhat embellished quasi-memoir of the author, written to entertain as his life is reenacted across the pages by its new protagonist, Alan Bentley. The book begins with Alan's description of a life not quite up to the financial standards of other kids he knew, but neither so low down that he's wearing feedbags like Edna Ryan (although homemade skis aren't a far cry). Alan dreams of being a hero. What kind of hero? That's not terribly important, so long as he becomes one.As a young adult he joins the Army, which he's sure is ripe with hero potential. As the quest continues, Alan bumbles through acts which are heroic, even in their hilarity, that only appear to be known to the reader and not Alan himself.
The Saga of Chief Barking Loincloth by Larry Sargeant blends the awkwardness and nostalgia of growing up in a time when playgrounds weren't made out of biodegradable plastic to the excitement of newly minted adulthood. "They had told me to come to the stage door, knock, and ask for them by name. ... Had I attained any of the hero status I claimed to seek, I might have been able to summon the courage to knock on the door." Sargeant's writing is tight and witty, and his ability to tell a story (his, Alan's, or a sublime blend of both) is top-notch. I really enjoyed his literal jump into skydiving, at which he ends up being remarkably skilled. I'd recommend this book to those who enjoy a great story with a side of prolonged belly laughs.


Review:John Zogby 5.0 out of 5 stars
This is a fun book and I loved it from cover to cover This is a fun book and I loved it from cover to cover. Warning to ladies: this is a guy's book. For us aging Boomer Men, this is all about growing up in the fifties and the sixties -- then ultimately about not really ever growing up at all. Somehow through it all -- Civil Rights, the JFK assassination, the war in Vietnam, stagflation, and more -- we never got over being 13 years old. Larry reminds us all of about our innocence, our obsessions, our never being ready for prime time (let along parenting, the military). Lots of good memories we all can share. Not quite Homer or Chaucer, but this book is our little epic of those wonder years.