Imagine the chance to become immortal. All you have to do is pass a test. And the test has only one question – how do you recommend nothing? For you then, nothing is everything.
That's the comical conundrum facing Hero in the quest to outwit his tormenting examiner and make sense of a universe in which nothing is all you would ever want. But Hero can't do it alone. He meets Mia, his beguiling guide and forlorn philosophy major who feels her life amounts to nothing. She'll show him what it's like to have nothing to live for if he will help fix the life-is-meaningless part of her personality. Of course, he has to pass the test first. Will he do it?
Recommending Nothing introduces absurdly believable characters careening through a contemporary madcap full of revealing satire, social commentary, and philosophical excursions. Recommending Nothing makes you laugh; it makes you cry; it makes you think.
“I’m yours to use in any way you deem meaningful,” I say.
“Look, I don’t want to use you.” She throws my hands toward my midsection, stands, and paces. Then she stops in front of me, supports her upper torso with her hands on my knees, and leans close to my face. Her chest appendages swagger. “I want to use your money.”
“What’s the difference?” I retort. She must know of my intended plan. Why else does she insist on my usefulness in the form of money?
“The difference is that if I take you back out there, that S&M master I hired will go overboard on the pain therapy with his play toys.” She stands and listens at the door.
“Would you rather a Hero overboard than a five hundred dollar bill?” I’m teasing at the possible nuances of her meaning as I ride a roller coaster of self-doubt regarding my selection of a guide. Does she really think there is a difference between bipedal and paper rectangle forms of matter?
“Of course not.” Her nose lifts slightly in the air. “Money means nothing to me.”
“Then nothing is what you’ll have.” I say, the doubt evaporating. I’m joyous at the depth of communication we share after such a short duration. “But you’ll have to turn around.”
Her eyes scan the arc of her eyebrows as her knuckles dig into the flesh at her hips. A padded click emanates from her foot hitting the tile floor.
I make a vortex motion with my index finger.
She turns and squirms her arms into a folded position over her chest appendages. Auric hair sways at her neckline. From her backside, I see a taut curvilinear form. Female biped scent wafts into my nostrils.
About K. David Pinkerton
Dave’s stories draw from years of teaching science and writing curriculum. He writes, runs, fishes, hikes, and skis out of Gunnison, Colorado, where he lives with his wife.
Imagine the chance to become immortal. All you have to do is pass a test. And the test has only one question – how do you recommend nothing? For you then, nothing is everything.
Dave’s stories draw from years of teaching science and writing curriculum. He writes, runs, fishes, hikes, and skis out of Gunnison, Colorado, where he lives with his wife.