Domestic violence immediately brings the image of the man battering the woman. Although true, this is far from the entire picture that should be understood. There is a dark and hidden aspect that is only now being recognized, and that is emotional abuse. The deep and horrible scars etched within the mind can linger forever, long after the physical pain and bruises have healed. Domestic violence is not "gender specific". As many women as men abuse their mate in a relationship. Discover how the abused becomes the abuser.
I am too perfect
I am too perfect. I am ideal, faultless, just right, great, wonderful, flawless, not to be faulted, unspoiled, absolute, total, just right. My hair, there is none to be better. I have it done every two weeks or so. My teeth are crystal white. My choice of clothing is immaculate. I wear even that which I cannot afford. Others buy. My shoes are so right. I mix and mingle with only the elite whenever I can. The man at my side I make conform to perfection. From his underwear, to his shirt, his slacks, his shoes, his socks, must conform. His hat, his jacket, his gloves, they must be just so. His teeth, the unseen whisker on his face, the hair style, the frequency of it being cut, nose hair, ear hair, must be impeccable. How the shirt is pulled out after first tucked in, the belt. How he eats so critical. How he lets me have my way, go where I choose, opens doors be they the car or the building. What he eats, what type of milk, the vitamins and supplements taken daily. His fingernails and toenails, they must be just so. I will have my friends with no objections from him as to who they are, or when I spend time with them, with or without him even though he be there. I am too perfect I say, “I want, and it is”. I send them, the men, on their way so cruelly. They are “defective”; I won’t have to take care of them. Their “ills” are a reason for rejection. I am too perfect. He must not question, must never deny, and cannot ever raise his voice. No anger allowed, no matter the attempts I make to bring it about. Situations I set up to provoke to be overlooked, even when I specifically ask, “is it not now time that you will start throwing destroying, breaking, things”? I lie! All the time I lie, after all I am perfect! I lie about the ring. Make that the rings. I watch him squirm as we are amongst family or friend, his ring not mentioned, or shone. I do not love him; I don’t even care a thing about him, though the fool thinks I do. Our times in bed, oh is he fooled easily. The poor deceived man thinks I want, I care. He is tarnished, he has medical problems, he must go! What’s that you say? What about my hands? Yes, they are deforming. The fingers do not work as they should anymore. I am too perfect.
My belly, you say? Oh that, it is a constant worry, medication always near, you know. Oh, but I am too perfect. He had to go, as did others. They are imperfect, they are dirty, they have flaws. I am too perfect. I am excessively, overly, extremely, exceedingly, very, perfect! I lie to myself, I am that perfect!
Have you figured out “WHY” yet? Do you understand that the abused becomes the abuser?
Too frightened to admit, horrified perhaps by the realization of their actions? It is easier to walk away than to face what they are. Unable to trust that the one they have just hurt can understand. They are too ashamed, maybe, to have to admit what they know deep inside? Fear! Shame!
About Tom Frisbie
Tom Frisbie is a student of the human condition, wielding the written craft to enrapture the mind much like an artist wields a brush. The pages are a blank canvas on which to draw from a talent heralded by many and matched only by an imagination that rises to the task. She said it was all a lie is the first in a series of recent pursuits, with work progressing quickly on the follow-up.
Domestic violence immediately brings the image of the man battering the woman. Although true, this is far from the entire picture that should be understood. There is a dark and hidden aspect that is only now being recognized, and that is emotional abuse. The deep and horrible scars etched within the mind can linger forever, long after the physical pain and bruises have healed. Domestic violence is not "gender specific". As many women as men abuse their mate in a relationship. Discover how the abused becomes the abuser.
Tom Frisbie is a student of the human condition, wielding the written craft to enrapture the mind much like an artist wields a brush. The pages are a blank canvas on which to draw from a talent heralded by many and matched only by an imagination that rises to the task. She said it was all a lie is the first in a series of recent pursuits, with work progressing quickly on the follow-up.