The "weekly reports" in the book include descriptions of Martha Burk and her army of "battling bitches" storming the hallowed ground of Augusta National; Rush Limbaugh and Jesse Jackson trapped in an elevator during a rolling blackout; and Martha Stewart and Kenneth Lay preparing for incarceration. Though humerous, the messages have a serious purpose: they set the stage for a description of many Americans' dismay at growing old in a society they cannot comprehend, and of spending their retirement years with declining pensions at a time when people whom the author calls scoundrels, charlatans, and whackos are accumulating incredible wealth through devious means.
Here's a typical message: Bobby Warner (Northfield's most prosperous pig farmer) wants to defend his colleagues, the Pickton brothers, who have a large hog operation in Port Coquitlam, BC. Robert "Farmer Willy" Pickton, 51, and his younger brother Dave are accused of abducting drug-crazed teenaged prostitutes from Vancouver's "seedy east side," whacking them with baseball bats, and feeding them to their pigs. (Farmer Willy allegedly has turned his farm into a "private drinking club known as Piggy's Palace," and there are comments circulating in the area to the effect that "one shouldn't eat the pork chops.") "Whacking is not an uncommon practice," Bobby notes. "In fact, it's a prudent move economically. We're in business to make money, and when the price of corn rises to unacceptable levels, this offers a viable alternative means of providing our animals with essential nourishment."
About David G. Lavender
David G. Lavender has the second-highest handicap among the members of the Northfield, MN Golf Club. This dismal circumstance reflects his lifelong lack of ability on the links. After working in development (fund raising) for several colleges and universities, he founded a successful consulting firm that specialized in institutional advancement and board management for many types of charitable organizations. He retired in 1998 to pursue a career on the Champions Tour. When that venture failed, he began running a nationwide fantasy golf league. His weekly reports to the participants form the messages contained in this book.
The "weekly reports" in the book include descriptions of Martha Burk and her army of "battling bitches" storming the hallowed ground of Augusta National; Rush Limbaugh and Jesse Jackson trapped in an elevator during a rolling blackout; and Martha Stewart and Kenneth Lay preparing for incarceration. Though humerous, the messages have a serious purpose: they set the stage for a description of many Americans' dismay at growing old in a society they cannot comprehend, and of spending their retirement years with declining pensions at a time when people whom the author calls scoundrels, charlatans, and whackos are accumulating incredible wealth through devious means.
David G. Lavender has the second-highest handicap among the members of the Northfield, MN Golf Club. This dismal circumstance reflects his lifelong lack of ability on the links. After working in development (fund raising) for several colleges and universities, he founded a successful consulting firm that specialized in institutional advancement and board management for many types of charitable organizations. He retired in 1998 to pursue a career on the Champions Tour. When that venture failed, he began running a nationwide fantasy golf league. His weekly reports to the participants form the messages contained in this book.