Outskirts Press, INC.

Humor - Fantasy

THE SECOND VENICE - As The Italian Government puts a limit on the number of tourists to Venice, to protect it from destruction and pollution, an American consortium (McBigBite and Pshht Cola) build beside the real Venice a "Second Venice" which is "bigger and better". This book is the ludicrous story of life in this fake Venice. With its fake canals and gondolas, its fake museums and fake paintings, its "Fake Films" festival, congresses and college and dog shows, the Second Venice attracts a sizeable tourist crowd to compete with the real Venice. Spy stories and thieves as well as heated discussions in its pubs, among tourists of various nationalities add a spice to this marvellous humoristic masterpiece. Finally,a sheikh buys The Second Venice at a bargain price, kidnapping the daughter of a friendly family a major shareholder of the city. Chapter after chapter this book will make you laugh and will be a pleasant addition to your "humor" library.
City of Venice, Italy

THE SECOND VENICE became Nr.1 among top rated books in ITALY MAGAZINE (U.K.) for many months. Review: http://www.compulsivereader.com/html/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1630

The other day, as I was coming in the vaporetto, I wanted to get my handkerchief out of my pocket, and when I dipped my hand into what I thought was my pocket, I heard a scream from a young American woman standing in front of me. "Pickpocket! Pickpocket!" she screamed. Everybody looked at me. "No madam," I explained. I am not a pickpocket. I am merely trying to get my handkerchief from my pocket and by mistake my hand has gotten into your pocket!" I apologized, but it was impossible to convince her. These Americans, they think they are the only people with money, and everyone else is a pickpocket. They simply have forgotten the days of Amerigo Vespucci. I explained to her that I was the mayor of this city, and after all that, luckily, the vaporetto captain came and explained to her that it was an unlucky mistake and that I was the mayor and I would never steal anything from a tourist, and she believed him after all. But, I can't forget the two girls giggling behind me, one saying to the other, "I thought they did it only in the Paris Metro, it is good they do it here too. I wish some man also wants to touch us." I didn't know whether to laugh or be angry. Anyway, we had come to the landing stage and I hurried out to reach my office in time. But, my friends, you see how the situation has become here in Venice. It is full, really full. But, no, no, I am not referring to this catastrophe either, although the situation is very acute, as we shall have to solve this one way or another. I am referring to a real big catastrophe." "What is it?" questioned a delegate at the table, as if the mayor would not explain it unless he was asked. "My friends," continued the mayor. "The real catastrophe, I don't know how to say it, is that some American firms applied to the government, that is, our government of course, to build here a second Venice." "A second Venice?" repeated all the delegates present at the boardà "Yes, a second Venice, right here, next to the Venice, to our Venice!" "But how is this possible?" shouted all the delegates, unanimously. "This is impossible. This is ridiculous! Impossible! Outrageous!" "Yes, my friends. Like anything else that is American, this is impossible and ridiculous and outrageous. But they are really serious about it." "Who wants to do it?" asked a delegate. "Don't be stupid," commented another delegate, "It is not important who wants to make it, it is important what they want to make. Let him tell us what it is all about." "No, no," said another delegate, "it is both important who wants to make and what they want to make." "My friends," said the mayor, "let us not fight over trivialities. The main thing is that an application has been made to our Government, to propose that a second Venice be built beside our Venice , a bigger and better version of Venice, so that the tourists can visit Venice more comfortably.


(Note: This excerpt has been squeezed in here to fit into this space. In the book, the text is written properly with respect to paragraphs.)