Outskirts Press, INC.

Everyday Casualties of the War on Drugs

As a teenager, Pam started doing drugs to ease the pain of trouble at home. Marijuana was her gateway drug, and soon she tried every drug she could find. While she attended beauty school, she met and fell in love with a dynamic and compelling young man, who was part of a group of drug smugglers. Pam followed him deeper into the drug world, carrying money into Mexico to pay growers, picking up pounds of marijuana to transport back to the States, and sitting in stash houses in Mexico City and California.



The lure of love and the comfortable platitudes of the drug smugglers couldn’t prevent the inevitable tragedies of a criminal lifestyle. Families in Mexico lost loved ones, friends overdosed, and a horrific murder in Hollywood took the life of a beloved friend of the drug ring. God opened Pam’s eyes, but she found it was much harder to get out than it was to get in. By the end of the 1970s, she was addicted to crack cocaine, and had no hope left. She tried everything to break her addiction – the occult, cults, EST.



Salvation came from God, who miraculously saved Pam from dying in a hotel room from an overdose. That moment turned Pam’s life around. This is the story of her journey back to wholeness and a life with God. Written with a PG-13 sensitivity, this honest book provides a valuable resource for intergenerational discussion of crucial issues.



“Tales of the Titmouse is a must-read for anyone who is dealing with or has dealt with the horrors of addiction. The personal insight into the devastation of addiction is an eye-opener. This book will go down in history as one of the most intriguing personal journeys, honestly approached through the eyes of someone who has been there.” – Karolyn L. London, Founder/Executive Director, Lifestyles Recovery Center, Inc.



“After reading Tales of the Titmouse, I encouraged Pam to publish, as I saw it as a great source of inspiration to many people struggling with drugs and addiction. I am confident that this book will support the search for God.” -- Fr. Raymond Roh O.S.B., Monastery of the Risen Christ, San Luis Obispo

It was the 1970s, I was twenty-three, and running from a marriage with no car and no money. I was looking for something—something I felt was missing from my life. I ran through every open door thinking maybe behind “this one” would be the answer. At beauty school, I met Shawna, and she opened a door for me to meet “The Boys” the day she brought Ray over to my house. Ray wanted to know if he could use my phone to receive messages from his friend, a guy who was somewhere in southern Mexico. I agreed. Not long after, his first call came.

“This is Cristobal. I’ll be there in three weeks. I’ll call you again.” His gentle calm voice broke through the static of a bad connection, gave me instructions, and made me feel important. And so it began—waiting by the phone, relaying messages, code names, new faces, bonded love. Lies cleverly disguised as gifts. Pick what you want from the piles of deep blue sapphires and the pile of snow-white powder, or the piles of silks, weavings, rugs, costumes, sarongs and ancient Oriental art. Skillfully, he bought me with pieces of cloth, airplane tickets, and hundred dollar bills.